Cora's Birth Story

      2 months later, and 4 months after my last post, our sweet baby girl has arrived and turned our lives upside down.  I want to write out her birth story before I forget all the details of such a special moment.  I always love reading other people's birth stories and I couldn't wait to have one of my own!  So here goes....
     
       Overall I had a really smooth, easy pregnancy.  However, I was not one of those women who was just in love with being pregnant.  By 30 weeks, I was way done with the process and I was wondering why babies take 9 months to grow, and praying she would come a little early!  I started having braxton hicks contractions sometime around the 30 week mark and they stayed a pretty consistent presence until she was born.  Fast forward to the 38 week mark. I had an appointment on Friday morning and I was hoping it would be my last one. I never got checked at any of my appointments to see if anything was happening. I was so ready to be done that I didn't want to know and be frustrated if nothing was happening. I waited until the last minute to have maternity shots done, but on Saturday morning, the day before I hit 39 weeks, we had them done.  We spent the morning walking around a beautiful park and getting some beautiful pictures of this special time.  The whole time I joked that this was going to send me into labor, and I really hoped it did.  Later that day I started to feel some contractions that were stronger than my normal BH I was used to.  I thought it was odd, but just decided it was from all the movement and heat that morning.  We went to church that afternoon and I had several more while sitting in the service.  I looked at Aaron and told him these were getting real.  But we went home and nothing really happened after that. I got a shower after we put Ryah to bed, and then they started to come back, with much more intensity.  I decided to start timing them and they were coming 10 minutes apart at that point.  I told Aaron we may be going to the hospital that night and he laughed, thinking I was joking and he went to sleep!! I laid down and tried to get some rest, but they just kept coming and started to get a little closer together, 8-6 minutes apart. So I woke Aaron up, and called the doctor.  She told me it didn't quite sound like active labor yet, but to come in if my water broke, or if the contractions got to 3 min apart for an hour.  So yet again I tried to rest, but that just wasn't going to happen.  Contractions continued to get stronger and closer together and I knew it was the real thing. At this point it was after midnight, and I had been texting my mom and our super awesome friend who would be coming to watch Ryah if we needed to leave, and told them it was the real deal. I got a few last minute things together as we waited for our friend to get to the house, and then we headed to the hospital around 1am.  This was not how I wanted things to go, of course they never go how we think they should! I was worried about Ryah waking up and us not being there, since that had never happened before.  Thankfully I had been preparing her for a few weeks and telling her who she would stay with when it was time for baby sister to be born, and she loves Amanda.  So I said a prayer and hoped she wouldn't be too scared in the morning.

           We got to the hospital by 1:30am, thankfully we were just a short drive away. We were both hoping that they wouldn't send us home, we were ready to meet our girl! My doctor was in surgery when we got there, so they told us to start walking until she got out and could check me out.  By that point, contractions started to come on top of each other and I could barely make the laps around the hall.  I wanted the pain meds so bad, but they couldn't do anything until they admitted me.  I had gone back and forth over whether or not I wanted an epidural, but once we got to the hospital, I knew there was no way I was going to make it through without it.  So much respect for women who can do it without it, I have several friends who have, I just couldn't.  And my nurse kindly reminded me that I didn't get a trophy or anything for not getting it haha! Finally, the doctor came out to check me. Thankfully I was at 4 cm already and she said I could stay if I promised to keep walking. I told her she had a deal and I walked for maybe another 45 minutes until I couldn't take the pain anymore and I asked for the pain medicine.  They tried something through my IV to start with, but all it did was make me dizzy and took the edge off for maybe 10 minutes, so I asked for the epidural.  I finally got the epidural around 5am and I felt so much better! The doctor was afraid it would slow my labor down, but I just kept trucking right along thankfully! I could see the contractions on the screen and I was so glad I couldn't feel them, they looked intense!! Aaron kept asking how long the dr thought it would be, and she said with first babies you just never know, but her goal was to have her here by midnight that Sunday night.  The next time they checked me, around 7am I was at 6.5 cm, two hours later I was at 8, and then another 2 hrs I was at 10 and ready to push! Right before I got to 10, the epidural was wearing off on my left side and I had to get it redone.  I was so thankful I had time to do it, because they checked me right after and said it was time to push! I couldn't believe things had gone so fast, especially with it being a first baby and getting an epidural.  I was prepared for hours of pushing, but hoping that it wouldn't come to that.  I was ready to get baby girl out, and she was ready to be out! She was so low when we got to the hospital, everyone who checked me kept commenting on it! My water never broke, the doctor literally broke it 3 minutes before I started to push.  I started pushing around 11am.  I literally couldn't feel a thing, but everyone kept saying how great I was doing, but I wasn't so sure.  After a few minutes, her head and shoulders were out, the doctor looked at me and said "ok, pull her out," without even thinking I reached down and grabbed her and at 11:15 she was here!! I still can't believe I did that. I had already told the nurse that I wanted them to clean her off before they handed her to me, so for me to pull her out and put her straight on my chest was not something I was expecting! I guess I was just in the moment and all the adrenaline kicked in! She was so tiny, but Cora Layne was here!! Born at 39 weeks exactly, she weighed 6lbs 14oz, and was 19 inches long.  We were instantly in love and she has been a complete joy since that moment.  God gave us such a precious gift in giving her to us.  I still can't believe a little person came out of me, and that she was finally here.  We cannot wait to see how she changes and grows, and how she will change us.  God has big things planned for her!

Motherhood

         I don't know if I have every been so stretched by something as I have been by motherhood so far. Motherhood is hard, it takes so much patience and grace that even this normally very patient person is running out on a daily basis.  Add being 33 weeks pregnant to that mix and things get real interesting! We are zeroing in on baby time around here as we anxiously await baby sister's arrival in just a few weeks and I can't help but reflect on motherhood.
          As my husband so graciously reminds me, even on days when I just want to curl up in a ball and cry at the end of the day, I am living my dream. And I am. Being given the gift to stay at home with our children is one that I do not take lightly and is one I have wanted for a very long time.  I know it is not possible for all families, but I am thankful that my husband makes it a priority for ours. But at the same time- especially during this season of pregnancy, I find myself wanting to pull my hair out and sending SOS texts to my dear husband more times than I care to count.  Just being real here. I know we all post the good pictures on Facebook and Instagram- we don't post the pictures of the tantrums that happen just minutes after those "insta-worthy" moments, I am super guilty of this. It makes is so easy to think that no one else is experiencing these non postable moments, but we all do.  And all too often I find myself at the end of myself and having these pull your hair out moments because I am depending solely on myself.  I don't want my motherhood to be defined by this.  I don't want my girls to remember a constantly frazzled mom who is always distracted or upset or out of patience on a regular basis.  Sure- I want them to know that I'm human and I make mistakes, a lot of them, but I also want them to see my on my knees finding my strength in our heavenly Father.  I recently stumbled upon a download of a book on the Desiring God website, called Mom Enough. It's basically a composition of blog posts written by moms who are wrestling with the same issues we all face.  It has already been a huge encouragement to me as I'm in the trenches with an adopted toddler and about to add a newborn to the mix.  It has encouraged me to give up more of myself to gain what I can't lose in them and their souls. Every day that I get up and get to be Ryah and soon to be baby sister's mommy is a privilege, and it is not meaningless. Even in the middle of the 5th tantrum of the day and the applesauce spilled all over the floor, and a toddler who has recently found her voice in what she doesn't want to do, there is eternal value in my response to these situations.  I can't forget this.  This doesn't mean I will mother them perfectly, but every day I have the opportunity to live out the Gospel in my home and I don't want to lose sight of that or take it for granted. These 2 little souls have been entrusted to me, even when I'm tired and at the end of my rope.  My Father, who knows and loves me and them more than we could ever imagine, gives more grace.  I want my parenting to be dependent on and flow out of that grace daily.  He chose me to be their mother, and that is a gift! This post is really more of a reminder for myself, but maybe someone else needed the reminder too.  We moms are in this messy, beautiful, journey together!!

Hello again!

        Well hello and happy 2015- 3 months late! Anybody still out there reading? Doubtful. It's been quite a while since I updated! There has been lots going on in our house the last few months.  So much that it's hard to remember it all and get it down on the blog! Ryah experienced her first Christmas this year- it was much more anti-climatic than we anticipated. It's interesting to explain to a toddler why there is a decorated tree in the house with presents under it. And the whole being excited about waking up to presents to open was totally lost on her haha. We were the ones most excited- just couldn't believe she was finally here for Christmas! After we had our own little family Christmas- we headed to the mountains to see my parents- where she had yet another Christmas experience. After about the 3rd round of gift opening she finally decided it was fun and exciting so I think this year should be fun!
       In other big news, Ryah is going to be a big sister!! Most of you probably already know, but just in case, we are expecting baby sister in June! Not much longer now! We can't wait to meet this little one that God has blessed us with.  I think Ryah is going to love being a big sister and be a huge help- she loves babies! We still don't think she fully understands there is an actual baby in mommy's belly, though she talks about it all the time and constantly wants to show her things. She know we have to wait a looonnngg time for her to get here, but that long time is quickly getting shorter and shorter! We are finally starting nursery prep this week! So thankful that God has blessed us with 2 precious girls. Even now, with Ryah, I am learning more and more just how dependent I am on God for strength.  This mom job is hard! Training and shaping little hearts is not easy, and we are about to add another to the mix! It's going to get a little more crazy around here- but we are excited and thankful! It's a good crazy and we wouldn't have it any other way!
          In preparation for baby sister- Ryah is now in her big girl toddler bed so we could move the crib into baby sister's room. She is enjoying her new found freedom and probably getting a little less sleep- I know mommy is! She has had so many changes lately.  We have really started branching out with working on attachment and getting her comfortable being left with a babysitter or going to her class at church.  We have been really conservative up until this point- which is what she needed. But with baby sister coming, we needed to make some changes and get her used to being with other people.  So far she has done great! She loves her class at church, and is enjoying making new friends at small group! Her speech has also come a long way in the last 2 months especially.  She is talking in sentences now- which I couldn't have imagined 6 months ago.  It's been a huge leap! We still have a long ways to go- but I am so proud of the progress she has made and hopefully all of her new social interaction will boost her speech and confidence even more!
        We are very ready for spring and are enjoying this gloriously beautiful day as a type on the front porch watching her play in the yard! I know adding a newborn is not the best time to pick back up with blogging- but I'm going to try to get back in the habit before she gets here because I'm sure there will be plenty of crazy antics I will want to document! Thanks for reading if you made it this far- check back again soon!