I didn't realize...

I didn't realize how this adoption journey would affect me.  I didn't realize how hard it would be.  I didn't realize that it would stretch me/us this much.  I never thought we would be almost 7 months in to this process and still be in the paperwork stage.  I didn't realize how attached I would become to a country and to a child that I've never even seen.  But it is so, so good!!  Oh how I wish more people knew this.  This process has accelerated my faith, in a way that might never have happened, had we not set out on this journey.  I have seen God work over and over again, and just blow our expectations out of the water.  I have seen the care he takes in weaving our story to becoming a family perfectly together, along with getting to share with other families on the same journey how their stories are coming together.  It is unlike anything I've ever experienced before.  I have been a ball of tears at church lately during worship.  I've been thinking about why that is, and my husband, offers that it's because I'm understanding the Gospel in a deeper way.  I think he may be right.  This process, through all its ups and downs, has forced me to recognize who is in control, and how deeply he loves me, our family, and this precious child.  That the only way this is happening is through HIM.  That he planned this before the earth was even formed and knew this was what our journey would be.  That he has carefully orchestrated when all this would happen and every detail would fall into place.  That we are doing this now, when it doesn't make sense to anyone else, but we know this is what we are called to.  It is just so beautiful and it brings me to tears.  That we have a God who loves and cares that much. 

The most recent example I have of this is yesterday.  We went in to get our fingerprints done for immigration, and this is the last step of our paperwork process.  We went in three weeks before our scheduled appoitnment, praying they would take us early.  And they did!! We were in and out of that office in less than 20 minutes and everyone was super nice!  We got back in the car and I started thinking about how perfect that was.  If that letter had come on any other day but Monday of this week, we would not have been able to go.  But God planned for it to come Monday, so that we would be able to go yesterday and get them done early.  It is just amazing to think about how all the little details fall into place, and are right now, weaving our story with our child's.  That's the reason for this blog.  So that we can look back and see where we were when things were going on in our child's life. Just so awesome!!! And God gets all the glory.

I've also been reading this AMAZING book!!

I encourage all of you reading this, if you don't read any other book this month, read this one!! I cannot say enough about this book and I'm only about half way through it.  But it's been teaching me about being thankful, and that thankfulness is essential to my salvation(a simple thought, but not one that is discussed alot).  Teaching me to be thankful in the little things, that these are ways that God shows me he loves me.  I can already tell this is changing my perspective during this time of waiting.  We are almost 7 months in and are just about to begin the "real" waiting of this journey.  As much as I want time to move faster and for us to be at the top of that list, I don't want to miss what is going on now, what God is trying to do in my/our life now, while we wait for our child.  I received an email from another adoptive mom who has had her share of ups and downs in the journey, and she posed the question, "do I desire a deeper relationship with my Savior as much as or more than I desire that phone call from a case worker telling us of our child?"  I took that question to heart, and that is what I want for me/us in this journey right now.  I want to savor each little moment along the way, as a way to grow deeper in my relationship with my creator, "to learn how to be grateful and happy, whether hands full or hands empty", and rest in the fact that all of this is in God's hands, while we wait to see that precious face.