This weekend, I sat in church and bawled my way through an entire sermon. I'm not sure if I have ever done that before. I'm not sure if a sermon has ever spoken so clearly to me before in my current situation. In fact, it was clear to both my hubs and I. We looked at each other through tear glazed eyes and knew that our Father was speaking directly to us. We just started a new series on prayer. Our pastor started preaching from Genesis 32, where Jacob wrestles with God. He was wrestling with God for a blessing. And then the pastor said, when was the last time you wrestled with God? And he started talking about prayer, and how God's blessings are released in our lives through prayer, and most of the time, persistent prayer. Um, yes, this is hitting pretty close to home. He told the story of the woman who persistently went to the judge time after time, asking for justice, until he finally gave her what she wanted. She had made her presence and her request known time and time again, she had faith that he would answer. And he did. So the pastor asked, does the judge know who you are? Does he know your request? Yep, checked that one off too. These past few months have been discouraging to say the least. We had an answer to our prayer, but not what we expected. And now, referrals have slowed down even more, seeming to be trickling out. And we've been discouraged. After all the prayers we have prayed over the last 2.5 years, we were beginning to wonder, is God even hearing us? Doesn't he love this baby more than we do? Why is he not home yet? Will this ever happen? So this sermon could not have come at a more perfect time. We are asking these questions, discouraged, and wondering. And then we hear this sermon on persistent prayer? Not a coincidence. So, the sermon continues to go on, and then he says: sometimes, God appears hostile(or silent) in prayer so that we can resolve in faith to see his goodness. And I was reminded of a Psalm that I had just read the day before: "I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord, be strong and let your heart take courage, wait for the Lord" Psalm 27:13-14
And this is where he encouraged us to press through. Press through in prayer, even when you don't get the answer you are looking for, or it takes a lot longer than you expected, press through. God's blessings are there for us, we must press through. Do not lose faith, wrestle with God, make your requests known. We have been talking the last few weeks about how all of God's promises are "yes" in Christ. Children are a blessing, and we know that God called us to to this, he promised that he would complete this adoption, so we are pressing through, we are claiming this blessing. The last reminder that the pastor gave us was that God is really the ultimate blessing that we seek. So while we are pressing through, we pray that he gets the glory from this wait, and from our family. We had gotten so focused on bringing our baby home, that we had let his glory slip our minds momentarily. We know it's all because of him, and we can't wait to see even more glory revealed when we see that precious face. So for now, we are resolving in faith to see his goodness, we are waiting, and we are pressing through.
